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He felt like I deserved it-I was just a little prick to him-an annoyance he’d rather live without. He wanted to give me a post-hypnotic suggestion that would embarrass me, despite his promise. I felt no pain, and the apple was the best I’d ever tasted. He did some other stuff to test me, like pricking my arm with a pin after he said my arm would be numb and making me eat an onion, telling me it was an apple. Josh knew I had to be under, cuz I would’ve never answered those questions truthfully if I hadn’t. And each time I answered truthfully (I didn’t like having a brother-I liked it better the way things were before, but if he was nicer to me, I might get to like him better I stared at him because I liked to see his body and wished I looked like that, and what was jacking off?).
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He told me I wouldn’t be able to lie, and asked me things like whether I liked having him as a brother, why I sometimes stared at him when he was toweling off from the shower, if I ever jacked off, etc. He asked me questions and I answered them, just like the hypnotist he had seen. Josh was totally surprised to see that I had actually gone under. It wasn’t until just recently-several years later-that Josh told me the whole story, and this it how it goes. It had been a long exhausting day, and I thought, I might as well just close my eyes, what could it hurt? That was the last thing I remember about the session. He told me over and over that my eyelids were getting heavier and heavier, and that I was getting very sleepy. I lay down on the sofa and Josh sat next to me in a chair. It was one afternoon when our parents were still at work that we first tried it. I made him promise he wouldn’t change me into a chicken or dog, or otherwise make me do anything stupid, and he agreed. Funny how it never seemed to work the other way around if I wanted him to do something… He told me it probably wouldn’t work anyway, and he was just fooling around. He would sweet talk me, tell me how we were “brothers” and that “real” brothers would do anything for each other.
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Whenever he wanted something from me, Josh knew how to get it. He read and studied for weeks, and than it came time to try it out. He even bought some more up-to-date books at the bookstore.
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He got a bunch of books from the library, a place he normally stayed away from as if it had the plague. I didn’t get to see it, but Josh told me all about it, and it became his new obsession-he had to learn how to do that too. Or, he would tell them they would jump up and shout “hallelujah!” every time he said the phrase “it’s OK”, even a half-hour after the show, when they were back in the audience-a “post-hypnotic suggestion”. He’d make them act like chickens, bark like dogs, and give them post-hypnotic suggestions like they’d forget their name, or the number 7, until he said a special phrase, and it would all come back to them. The same thing happened when a hypnotist came to school and put on a small show, picking kids from the audience to hypnotize and demonstrate his “powers”. Or a new clothing fad-he’d need an entire wardrobe of whatever. Often it would be about a certain singer, and he’d have to have all of their CD’s. Josh would get easily obsessed with things when he got interested in something he went all the way. The only time when things seemed “right” was when we were asleep in bed. I was much more into school, art, reading, and plays, where Josh was a typical jock and would have rather been playing football or baseball than attending school. He definitely wasn’t too happy having a little brother. He was constantly fighting with me, when he acknowledged me at all.
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Josh was half Venezuelan, which gave his skin a nice permanent tan, and his wavy hair and deep brown eyes would have made my heart go pitter-patter if he hadn’t been such a prick to me all the time. Those were the times when I felt totally secure-like nothing could ever hurt me. He sometimes even spooned up against me while we were asleep his crotch nestled against my butt, chest against the back, and his arm encircling me. I liked it when he brushed up against me at night, feeling his warm soft skin against me, hearing his slow breathing as he slept. Josh would go to sleep in just his boxers, while I slept in my PJ’s still. I would often sneak a peek at whatever I could when Josh would undress at night for bed.